Monday, October 7, 2013

What kind of parent did you want to be?

Now that we have another little baby in the house, it feels like we're starting fresh in some ways. This little girl is sort of a clean slate & a chance to do things better than we did the first time around. Poor Linnaeus was basically our dress rehearsal & gets the brunt of our inexperience with every stage he goes through.

Perusing my blog from when Linnaeus was Brontë's age, I came across a post about what kind of mother I wanted to be. It was interesting to look at a little time capsule of my mindset back then. Three years on, I feel like I'm still learning & growing in the role of mother, but I think I've achieved some of my aspirations.

Here's the list I wrote then of what kind of parent I wanted to be:

  1. warm & affectionate; I hope that he enjoys all the cuddling & kisses that I'm currently showering him with for at least a few more years.
  2. creative; in how I solve problems, as well as in the crafty/artistic activities I hope to do with my boy & also in the sense of continuing to make things for him (clothing, toys, decorations for his room, etc.).
  3. empowered; meaning that I don't just put my child's needs before mine at all costs. I need to take care of myself too. Asking for help from my family, friends & community is part of that & of course, involving Oliver in as much as possible of the work of raising Linnaeus.
  4. relaxed; trying not to be too cautious & anxious about every aspect of his life. I think this is possibly going to be one of the hardest things for me to do.

I think I fit the bill for #1 & 2, though #3 & 4 are still a struggle. I think I don't look too anxious on the surface when it comes to parenting & I do subscribe to a pretty relaxed/free range style when it comes to a lot of things, but it doesn't mean I don't second-guess myself constantly & fret about how he's doing. Er, how they're doing. Still getting used to the fact that I have two children.

Here's hoping Brontë can benefit from some of what I've learned in the past three years...

What was on your list for the kind of parent you wanted to be? For those of you with two or more children, do you think your subsequent children benefited from your experience the first time around?

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