Monday, June 4, 2012

My first sprog, Arrow

I'm going to interrupt my usual Monday programming because today is an anniversary that is tied up in the origins of The Sprog blog. Probably none of you know that I actually started this blog nearly four years ago, in September of 2008. It was a private blog, more of a diary between Oli & I. I used it to collect my thoughts about the baby we were trying for. I wrote about getting pregnant on the fifth cycle & all the milestones of my pregnancy. I had lists of names & useful pregnancy-related sites collected here. I can't recall when or if I intended to make it public (as it is today) back then.

Then exactly three years ago today, my first pregnancy came to an abrupt end at about 18 weeks along. My first little boy, Arrow, came into the world a few weeks too early to survive. It had been a completely normal pregnancy. I'd just gotten my quad screen blood test results back with no anomalies. We were about a week or so away from the detailed ultrasound. Despite trying hard to find them, there were no answers: the doctors were never able to tell us what went wrong.

It still really hurts to think about the details. It was such a traumatic experience to miscarry so late. I went to counselling to deal with the grief & didn't blog at all through the painful summer & fall that followed. When I got pregnant for the second time, I started writing here again, still privately. I had more anxiety than the first time, though less than I'd expected. Getting past 18 weeks was a huge milestone & I breathed a sigh of relief after that.

At Botanical Beach, June 2009
June 4, 2010--when I was about 30 weeks pregnant with Sprout--we travelled to the west coast of Vancouver Island to mark the anniversary of Arrow's death, visiting the place where we'd scattered his ashes the year before. I felt it was important to go back to honour his memory & I though it might become an annual pilgrimage of sorts.

Despite the sadness of passing Arrow's anniversary, I really did have fun my last trimester, going to prenatal aquafit & enjoying the summer, since I wasn't working. However, it wasn't until I was only about two weeks from Sprout's due date that I opened the blog up to you all to read.

June 4, 2011 came & went without a trip to the island. Busy with my almost 10-month-old & a course at SFU, I let it slide. We won't be going to Botanical Beach around Arrow's anniversary this year either, but I haven't forgotten him. Though I do think of him often, I don't associate Arrow with every post I write here. Nonetheless, he's the reason the blog exists.

The Sprog has really evolved in the last couple of years. Since then, I've become much more serious about writing; it's been over seven months since I started blogging daily. I have readers in North America, Europe, Africa, Asia & Australia. I've found work & met people because of this blog. Who knows what the future will hold for the Sprog?


  1. Love for little Arrow. Thanks for sharing your story today. That photo gets more and more beautiful every time I see it.

  2. Love to you and Ollie on this day. Karin

  3. It's a beautiful photo, and thanks for sharing your story. I have one beautiful daughter, but have experienced two miscarriages in the past ten months and it is very draining emotionally and physically. I am so sorry for your loss and happy for you for the wee boy you have now. I only recently discovered your blog, and no doubt I'll be back.

    1. Sorry to hear about your miscarriages, Tiffany. There's not much else to say than losing a pregnancy sucks. Glad you stopped by here, though. :)


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