Wordless Wednesday: Our Stroller is Our Car

We stuff a lot of things into our UppaBaby Vista. It's a pretty amazing stroller & part of how we live car-free in Vancouver.

En route to the Mount Pleasant Family Centre Winter Celebration last week for a stilting performance with baby, preschooler, stilts, costume, diaper bag, L's backpack & assorted snacks in the UppaBaby stroller.

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The Case for Strollers on Transit

It's that time again: Listicles. This week's topic was suggested by Amanda, of Lilahbility.

@NorthWestMommy I've got an idea for a future listicle. Have we ever done a list of things that are completely impractical? Could be fun...
— Amanda (@lilahbility) July 19, 2013

I'm a very practical gal. You can tell by my shoes: from May through September you'll find me in nothing but Birkenstocks. The rest of the year it's gumboots or runners. Sometimes flat boots. So I tend to gravitate toward things that are practical first, attractive second. Form follows function, right?

So this Listicle topic baffled me a bit. Trying to think of things I have that aren't practical didn't get me very far. Guess I could just criticize things I don't have that are impractical--there's definitely a lot of baby stuff out there that is so ridiculous. Then I looked to a dictionary definition for inspiration. Nope.

Then on Friday I head a guy who was apparently put out by having to move out of the way for a stroller to exit the bus when he was getting on. He told the woman with the toddler in the little folding stroller, "Teach the kid to walk!". I glared at him, but he didn't notice. Anger at women daring to take up space on the bus with their kid's stroller is so commonplace & so frustrating. I was sorely tempted to give this guy a piece of my mind, but instead, I'll blog about it.

Ten reasons not taking a stroller on transit is really impractical:

1. The bus rarely takes you to the door of your destination, you'll need to walk a few blocks. Doing that with a toddler is slooooow going.
2. Toddlers often won't walk more than a few blocks. Or they'll do fun things like run into traffic.
3. Shopping by transit, which is something that many of us do (shocking, I know), means lugging heavy bags which doesn't leave a hand free to cross streets holding your toddler.
4. Toddlers sometimes fall asleep when you're out. Ever tried carrying that dead weight more than ten metres?
5. Toddlers generally require a bag of paraphernalia to go with them: diapers, toys, extra clothes, food, water, potty seat, etc. Carrying that plus whatever you need on your outing is silly when a stroller basket will accommodate it without giving you back muscle spasms.
6. Carrying your child plus all the stuff you need to take along is heavy, sweaty work.  In the summer? Not realistic.
7. Toddlers are wiggly & don't like to sit still on bus seats. Being belted into a stroller is much safer for them when (not if) the bus has to slam on the brakes.
8. When travelling with more than one child under age four or five, strapping them into a stroller is pretty much the only way to keep them safe & yourself sane.
9. Getting on & off a bus with a little person who has short little legs & only maybe a year's experience doing things like walking can be difficult. 
10. I'm all for babywearing & I normally do this a lot on transit, because it is easier in some ways, but it's just not possible when very pregnant.

Do you or have you taken transit with a toddler? Did you ever get people criticizing you for having a toddler in a stroller on the bus?

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Car Sharing with a Toddler

When I wrote my car sharing story, I didn't mention how it works to use a Modo car when it's just me & Sprout because we hadn't actually done that yet. Transit, cycling or walking are nearly always our best options. This week, I got the chance to try out driving solo.

Tuesday I got an email from my mom saying she was meeting my cousin & her new baby at Brentwood Mall. My sister heard about it & my other cousin & my aunt... it ended up being a small family reunion. Sprout saw four of his cousins, two grandparents, a great aunt & three aunts & uncles. Brentwood works because it's more or less the mid-point between where we all live: North Van, Coquitlam, Burnaby & Vancouver.

The catch was that they were meeting at 10am & I got the email at 9:45. I thought about taking transit, but it would mean about 30 minutes of walking all together. Normally, I'd be game, but I'm trying to avoid being on my feet too much as I injured my knee on Sunday. I decided to take a Modo car.

This was the first time that Sprout &  had taken a Modo vehicle without another adult around. Normally, Oli goes & picks up the car, brings it home, then we load car seat, baby & whatever gear we're toting. But with just me, I had to find a solution to the trick of getting baby & car seat to the car--kind of like the one with the cat, mouse & cheese crossing the river by boat. So I tried what I've been thinking of for a while: strapping the car seat onto the umbrella stroller & putting Sprout in on top, then going to the car. Other than the fact that the car seat makes it a bit top-heavy, it worked fine.

Not sure if it was any faster than transit to drive, because the Skytrain isn't constrained by the traffic along the way, but I ended up doing less walking to give my knee a break. Plus, now I know my crazy car seat solution works: I can just take off in a car if I need to on short notice.

If you were wondering, it's an Avalon stroller (my review with more details here) & a Cosco car seat.

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Toddler leashes: yes or no?

This week I bought Sprout a Munchkin Funpack Harness. Since he's started running, I've thought that having him tied to me would be handy sometimes. When we're in a really busy place like the farmers' market or maybe when we do some travelling it could be useful.

I was somewhat conflicted about the idea before I bought one & I still feel a bit awkward about having my child on a leash like a dog. I tried it out just after we bought it when we walked home from the local park. Felt very self-conscious strapping him in & putting the leash loop around my wrist as we set off.

Sprout thought the backpack was pretty cool. Its capacity is only about 2L but that's enough to hold a few little toys or a water bottle & snack. He wasn't so keen on it the first time he ran off suddenly & came to the end of his tether, however.

While walking the four blocks home, I realized that because the lead is so short, I'd have to either keep up with him or risk the 'yoink' every time he got to the end of it. I don't want to use the leash to pull him back the way some people do with their dogs. However, I'm not sure he'll 'heel' like a well-trained dog would, staying within the four or five foot range of the leash. So I'm still chasing after him the way I would without the leash anyway.

I can see how it might be useful in a situation like paying at a till in a store or using a bank machine, where I have to concentrate on something else for a minute. Maybe for light hiking too, just in case he decides to wander off the trail. & of course for parents with more than one kid or multiples, I could see how this could be a sanity-preserver.

There's a part of me that really hates the idea of restraining my child this way. But if the alternative is for him to be strapped in the stroller instead, is that really better? (I am a big fan of babywearing, but the older he gets, the less he wants to be attached to me in the Beco or the ring sling, it seems. Also, my knees & feet get sore if I'm wearing him for long) Strollers are certainly more socially acceptable--I rarely see leashed children in public in Vancouver, but kids are strapped into strollers regularly until they're in elementary school, it seems.

What's your opinion? Would you or have you used a toddler leash? 

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An open letter to my dream cafe

Marche St. George has a basic toddler area

As the mother of a now very mobile & energetic toddler (though he's not at the extreme end of the spectrum--I have friends whose kids run laps around him) I have almost entirely stopped going to cafes during the day. I used to go a lot when Sprout was easily portable & would sit (or better: sleep) in his stroller, on my lap or in a carrier for hours. But now that he's likely to run straight out the open door of a cafe into traffic, I can't just sit & enjoy an overpriced chai soy latte or a half-kilo muffin in peace.

Pretty much all of the cafes I used to love going to have some sort of major hazard or two that make them off-limits to me & Little Mr. Curious. Even the ones that try to be kid friendly often miss the mark a bit. Glass terrariums set on low shelves, doors always wide open to  streets with heavy traffic, fireplaces, display shelves full of breakable mugs at toddler height, lit oil lamps, play kitchen near an oven, buckets of choking-hazard sized toys.

I guess the people who own cafes in Mount Pleasant are already making money enough, but they could make even more by catering to all the parents of toddlers who are free during the day. Seriously, this is not a small market--there are a lot of us who work from home, work part time, work nights or whatever--just look at any morning drop-in gym, Strong Start program or community centre tots class. We get serious cabin fever staying home with the kid(s) & we'd love somewhere that we could actually sit, have a drink or a snack (better yet, beer!) while the kids occupy themselves in a play area full of new, interesting toys. Yes, I get to meet & talk to other parents at the aforementioned kids activities, but we rarely get to finish a sentence without having to dash off & nab a kid from a ladder, an overturned ride-on toy or the glue pot at the crafts table.

Business owners, if you cater to us, we will become loyal devotees because there aren't that many other places we can go. We're social media savvy: we will blog about you, check in on Foursquare, post about you on Facebook & tweet about you. We will talk about it in our stroller bootcamp classes & at the drop-in toddler gym. We will bring friends. If our kids like you, they will beg us to go all the time & we will give in to stop the whining. Then we'll come in & buy food & drinks for both/all three/four/five of us. Think of the turnover: even if you're really kid-friendly, we won't likely stay much longer than an hour anyway--you can earn a lot more money from us than all those people who camp out with their laptop for hours, buying one coffee.

So here's my wish list for this new kid-friendly establishment in Mount Pleasant:

1. Get a sturdy play kitchen & fill it with toy food, dishes & pots. If you're worried about noise, plastic dishes are quieter & Ikea has (washable) fabric food.
2. Don't put the play kitchen near the oven, the door or any other potential hazards.
3. Large building blocks & cars are also fun, cleanable & not that tedious to pick up at the end of the day.
4. The play area doesn't have to be huge, nor does it have to be fenced off entirely, but enclosed on three sides will make it easier for parents to relax.
5. Keep the toys safe for all ages: don't have anything that's small enough to fit through a toilet paper tube so no little ones can choke.
6. If you have the square footage, have a seating area near the kids area & one that's separated for those who aren't fans of the younger & smaller sized humans.
7. You don't have to spend a mint on gear--there's lots on Craigslist for super cheap--but don't stock it with broken or dirty toys.
8. Have a kids menu (hint: salads don't usually go down well with small children) of quick to prepare foods so kids can get their meals/snacks really fast. This will avoid a large percentage of low-blood-sugar tantrums.
9. Have a baby change table in EVERY washroom. It ain't just women who change diapers, you know.
10. If you offer table service, make sure to train all your staff on serving hot things around children: don't put tea/coffee/steaming food within their reach & don't move it over their heads when you're putting it on the table. 
11. Make sure you have a lot of high chairs. If they take up too much room (there are stackable ones) get some boosters that strap onto chairs--they're pretty small to store.
12. Leave enough room between tables so that strollers can actually manoeuvre. Better yet, provide an area for stroller parking.
13. Have a lost & found--we lose stuff all the time but would love to get it back.
14. Get a liquor license! Just because we're with our kids during the day doesn't mean we wouldn't like a beer or a glass of wine.

Parents: have you got any ideas to add to this list? Cafe/restaurant owners: are you convinced yet?

Review: Diaper Dude bag

What is it?

Diaper Dude Messenger I bag

How does it work?

A basic messenger-style bag, the Diaper Dude has a large clip so you can open the strap, clips on either side so you can attach it to a stroller, lots of pockets inside & out which are sized for diapers, bottles & the various other things you're going to be carting around as a parent.

Why is it good?

Read the rest of the review after the jump...

Gear: Avalon Deluxe Umbrella Stroller

What is it?
Avalon Deluxe Umbrella Stroller

How does it work?
Like all the other umbrella strollers out there, this stroller folds in half & collapses inwards with a plastic clip that secures the frame from unfolding when stored.

More details on the pros & cons after the jump...

Gear: Uppababy Vista

The grocery cart/nap wagon

What is it?
Uppababy Vista Stroller
Why is it good?
The Vista comes with all the extras: bassinet, bassinet 'boot', bug screens, rain cover, huge basket. There's no need to buy many accessories unless you want to convert it to a double stroller (rumble seat & 'skateboard' attachments are available). The two I did buy were the cup holder, which easily pops on & off either side of the handle & flips up for tight spaces, & the snack tray. The tray is really easy to clean--its frame pops on & off easily & the tray comes out of the frame & can go in the dishwasher.
Though it's not a small stroller, the Uppababy excels on transit. In its rear facing configuration it's easy to get the stroller into position with baby facing away from the direction of travel, as is safest, & lock the wheels. Sitting behind the stroller, the handle is easily to grab in case of sudden stops.
When you configure the stroller to be forward-facing, it's balanced perfectly & handles really smoothly. The rear-facing position changes the centre of balance, but it's still a smooth ride. I can easily flip it from forward to backward with 24-pound Sprout in the seat.
The recline is super easy on the toddler seat: a one-handed flip of the lever at the top of the seat & you can set it to any one of four angles from flat for naps to nearly vertical for alert toddlers.

Works as a high chair too!

Call me silly, but I loved being able to choose from six different colours. I find most baby stuff to be the most hideous colours (boring beige? neutral grey? baby blue? light pink? barf!) so I was happy that I could choose between a range of bright colours. The fabric is somewhat reflective too, so this stroller is a little bit more visible when headlights shine on it.
I attribute Sprout's vampire-like pallor not to sunblock, because we rarely used it, but to the great coverage he got from the canopy & SPF-50 extension on it. The bassinet has the same silver extension so you can keep baby out of the sun from birth onward.
The large wheels of the stroller are rubber, so it's a pretty smooth ride, but they're foam-filled, so you'll never get a flat. Speaking of large, the basket on this thing is massive. We often get a week's worth of groceries in there, easily.

Where can I get it?
Westcoast Kids, TJ's Kids, Jack & Lola, & many other independent retailers.
How much does it cost?
$700+. This seems like a lot, but trust me, it's worth the investment if you walk a lot. Also, these strollers are in high demand on Craigslist & tend to go for 50-75% of their purchase price used. If yours is in good shape when you're done with it, you can get back some of your money!

*I didn't get any freebies from Uppababy to write this review. Just bought the stroller after doing some research & have loved it for over 15 months now.

Stroller kids

Lately I've been noticing children (not babies or toddlers) in strollers a lot lately. Other writers have been noticing too--Zosia Bielski in the Globe & Mail, Margaret Hartmann at Jezebel, to name just a couple--likely because of Too Big For Stroller*, a blog that makes fun of stroller-riding big kids & their parents. (Here's a Salon interview of the blogger) Probably I notice because I'm always checking out other people's strollers & how well or poorly they work. But mostly it's just because these kids are big. Big, like 60 pounds big. Some of them look like they're well old enough to be in elementary school. I'm willing to give some of them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they're just big for their age. However, they can't all be.

Before I really get going, I'd like to say that I'm not writing this to judge parents. I'm coming at this from the perspective of a parent who knows she'll be facing this question herself in a few years. I'm also just really curious about why bigger kids are in strollers these days, compared to in the past. Is it that strollers are getting sturdier & more able to accommodate older kids? I know ours has a weight limit of 50 pounds. Even if your child is at the 95th percentile for weight, s/he's going to be five years old before s/he hits 50 pounds!** The average kid is about 50 pounds at the age of seven.** Maybe since parents often pay $500-1000 for one, they want to get their money's worth out of it. Or is it that children are somehow becoming less able to walk due to more sedentary lifestyles? Is it that parents are trying to cover too many miles on outings? Or is it about safety? Perhaps parents want their children contained, rather than running around in busy public places? (though most of the big kids I see in strollers are not actually strapped in & were old enough to easily undo the harnesses & escape, anyway)

One of the commenters on the Salon interview points out that "people think it's somehow "immoral" to not expend energy. Sitting when you could be walking is viewed as a sign of poor character." She also criticizes the writer of Too Big for Stroller, saying that she "has no idea which kids are able-bodied and healthy. Some may have invisible disabilities or illnesses." Whatever the reasons these kids are in strollers (& I seriously doubt any significant percentage are disabled or ill), what I worry about is the future health of this generation of kids. If they're riding around in strollers a lot of the time (which seems unlikely, but I have no way of knowing) that doesn't bode well for their future activity level. Isn't this just setting them up for a life of riding motorized vehicles instead of cycling (or kayaking or other human-powered travel), watching sports rather than playing & just a lot more sitting? It has nothing to do with laziness or work ethic, I'm just concerned that this may be one more reason children will grow up to be much less healthy than their parents: a generation already suffering from ridiculous rates of obesity (in North America, anyway) & related health problems.

So, my dear readers, I ask you: have you noticed this trend when you're out & about? If you have older children, when did they stop riding in the stroller? Do you have memories of riding in a stroller as a small or not-so-small child? Why do you think kids are staying in strollers longer?

*Sadly, I can't access the blog: Firefox tells me it's a server error. Could you see it? Or maybe it's been taken down...
**According to these growth charts.

The Family Vehicle

This afternoon we bought the MEC double bike trailer. We got a good deal on one that had been returned (I suspect because it's so damn wide!) & bought the stroller kit. Since the trailer was already assembled, we just popped the wheel & handle on, then walked it home.

As soon as we'd eaten dinner, I put the trailer mount onto the rear axle of my bike. Then I clipped Sprout into his helmet & strapped him into the rig with a few toys in case he got bored. He fussed at being seat belted in, just like he does every time we put him in the stroller, but quieted down almost immediately. Hooking up the trailer was simple, then away we went!

We rode up Saint George, a bike route on one side of our block & headed up the quiet streets to the south of us. The trailer rides very smoothly & I didn't really notice any difference in how my bike handles. Cornering & going over speed humps is no problem at all.

The whole ride, Sprout stared out the side window, watching the world go by & it wasn't until we were almost home again that I realized he never gets to see that much, so fast (I was probably going a thrilling 10-20km/h). In the stroller, he faces us & the canopy is always raised around him, so he has a narrow view of everything. In the rare occasions when he's in a car, his car seat faces the back: his view is mostly upholstery & a bit of sky out the window.

I can't wait to ride to the farmers' market at Trout Lake tomorrow. We've got the bikes all set & ready to go in the garage. I'm looking forward to the ride, getting a pitcher plant, picking up some starts for the garden & most of all: crepes!

Wordless Wednesday

My two cents on attachment

I saw a sad thing on the bus Wednesday, as I was heading to my Fit4Two class with Sprout. A woman got on just after me with a little baby in a stroller. The car seat that was clipped in had one of those zip up covers on it to keep the baby warm. The baby was drinking from a bottle propped up on the cover of the seat. At no point did his mother touch him & she never interacted with him at all during the time we were on the bus.

Maybe she doesn't feel safe holding her baby in her arms on the bus & prefers to have him strapped into the seat for safety, or maybe she doesn't usually feed him on the run at all & this was an exception... but I wonder how much time he spends in his mother's arms. Does she hold him when she feeds him at home? Does she ever use a carrier?

Say what you will about different styles of parenting being valid for different people, there is scientific evidence that proves it is beneficial to hold babies & children. The hormonal feedback loop that happens when you have skin-to-skin contact with your child helps both of you feel happier & helps your baby grow & thrive. Even if you're not breastfeeding & concerned with keeping your supply up through physical contact, it's still worth holding your child when you feed them to enhance bonding. We evolved suckling at our mother's breasts & being carried next to her body. I don't believe you can take that contact away without some health or developmental consequences for a baby.

I find it physically difficult to wear or hold Sprout for hours a day, as my arms are really not that strong, plus I've been struggling with hip muscle spasms, inflammation & arthritis in my feet lately. When we go shopping or if I'm going out for a few hours, I tend to buckle him into the stroller & take advantage of its cargo-hauling capacity. He seems to nap longer in the stroller than on my lap or in the carrier. However, I think Sprout's so much more content when in my arms. When he's tired or upset, he certainly calms down almost instantly if we pick him up & hold him. If I'm holding him, he is more secure & open to new experiences that might be a bit scary otherwise: playing with a dog for the first time; meeting new people at noisy parties & in public places; eating solid food the first time; watching noisy trucks, ambulances & construction machinery. Now that he's strong enough to be carried on my back (& I've gotten more comfortable loading him into the carrier that way on my own) I find I'm wearing him a little more.

It's important to be mindful of everything you do with your child & how it could impact them. It's more convenient to prop a bottle & leave the baby to it, but that's more or less how you'd feed a cat or a guinea pig. Is that the type of relationship you want with your child? I have my moments where I just need to be alone & away from Sprout for a while. It's draining to have a little person who is so utterly dependent on you every hour of the day & night. But if I'd really expected motherhood to be convenient & to maintain my pre-baby autonomy, I would have just gotten another pet instead.

Pros & cons of various baby-transport options

Advantages of a carrier

• You can go anywhere you can walk--no worries about stairs, awkward doors, narrow store aisles, etc.
• Baby stays warmer
• It's easier to protect a little one from animals, rain
• Interaction with baby is easier
• Babies are often calmer when held against the body in a carrier, compared to sitting on their own in a stroller
• Our carrier can be chucked in the washing machine to clean it
• Carriers take up much less space in your home when not in use or when travelling
• Carriers can be inexpensive (from $10 to make a simple fabric wrap to $130 for a more structured carrier like our Beco) compared to strollers

Advantages of a stroller

• You can carry heavier items in cargo basket
• No back strain issues
• You can see your feet & are less likely to stumble
• It's much easier to use the washroom alone
• Our baby seems to sleep longer in the stroller
• It's easier to protect baby from the wind with the stroller weather cover
• You can attach toys for baby to play with

We make extensive use of both stroller & carrier, as our main modes of transportation are walking & transit. We've started using the carrier more for bus trips recently because if the bus is busy, it's too difficult to get on & off with the stroller. However, for grocery shopping (the few things we don't get delivered from SPUD) it's very handy to use the stroller as a shopping cart. Recently we bought an 8kg bucket of laundry detergent & just stuffed it into the basket, no problem. I would never have even bothered to buy in that quantity if I'd had to carry it in my hands on the ten-minute walk home.

I realize most of this list is only applicable to parents of one baby. If we had another child, or twins, it would be a different story. Can you add anything to my lists above? Do you use a stroller or a carrier more? Why?